I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
