is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
