Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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