um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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