would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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