Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize