dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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