OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
