i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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