Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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