U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
