May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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