I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
