walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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