you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
