Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
