let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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