Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
