can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What a dumb baby whore.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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