Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
