thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
