the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
