He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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