I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
