so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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