yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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