One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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