Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
