i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
