I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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