It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
