Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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