nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
