I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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