you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
