We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
