They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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