thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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