My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
