I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
