I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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