I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
