Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize