I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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