What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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