Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
