so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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