Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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