white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
