just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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