went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
