I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
