I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
