6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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