you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
its liver damage thursday
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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