We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
