he wants to bone in the snuggie
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
