Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize