I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
